What if perfectionism isn’t a curse or a personality flaw however fairly a standard state of being that may be harnessed for good? In her eye-opening e-book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power, psychotherapist and former on-site Google therapist Katherine Morgan Schafler posits that perfectionists can stay a life of pleasure fairly than feeling perpetually disillusioned by imperfection.
Schafler begins by describing the 5 sorts of perfectionists, together with the traditional (not spontaneous, a planner, all the time prepared with a backup plan) and the extreme (expresses anger when feeling overwhelmed, imposes requirements on these round them). Indeed, this e-book is sort of a mirror for anybody who has struggled with perfectionism in any kind. This reviewer recognized a little bit uncomfortably carefully with the Parisian perfectionist (desires to be favored, hides their deepest ambitions).
Schafler has handled tons of of perfectionists in her non-public observe and acknowledges that for a lot of, perfectionism is rooted in a childhood of abuse, neglect or conditional love. It’s not so simple as simply advising somebody to loosen up. “Managing perfectionism by telling perfectionists to stop being perfectionists is like managing anger by telling people to ‘calm down,’” she writes. But the excellent news, in accordance to Schafler, is that we will make perfectionism a device in our lives by easing up on self-punishment, which she defines as hurting or denying your self. We might imagine we’re punishing ourselves to study or develop, however we are literally simply creating extra worry and demoralization.
Schafler affords workable methods to assist perfectionists cease overthinking and overdoing and transfer to a joyful place. She additionally weaves analysis and strategies with insightful vignettes from her shoppers’ experiences. All of it exudes heat and empathy. “Until you can meet yourself with some compassion, you’ll reject the good in your life,” she advises.
In addition to being a captivating take a look at the various influences that make a perfectionist, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control is a welcome antidote that may assist readers reframe and refocus.
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