With the success of Cocaine Bear within the theaters earlier this 12 months, it was solely a matter of time earlier than different animals fell sufferer to narcotics and B-movie extra.
A cocaine shark is the logical subsequent step. After all, sharks have an ocean of B-movies to their title — from Sharknado to Shark Exorcist. And simply earlier than Cocaine Bear premiered, New Zealand police found over three tons of cocaine floating within the ocean. Cocaine shark memes quickly adopted, naturally.
But Cocaine Shark, from director Mark Polonia, isn’t a narrative of sharks who can’t say ‘no’ to medication. It facilities on a narcotic constituted of shark gland, the gangsters desirous to visitors it, and the hapless mutant-shark-thing caught within the center.
The story isn’t what you most likely anticipate. First off, there aren’t any precise sharks on this movie. There are shark mutants, sure, however not even a little bit of fearsome shark b-roll. The majority of the movie offers with the absurd story of gangsters attempting to smuggle the shark drug. To make issues extra sophisticated, the story is informed in flashbacks from by an undercover narcotics detective. Instead, he will get captured and recounts his story beneath the haze of medication.
Cocaine Shark is dangerous. Really, actually dangerous. It’s not even “so bad it’s good,” it’s simply “so bad it’s bad.” The “plot” is nonsensical, with random actors and scenes thrown in with nearly no cause or logic. It comes throughout as an affordable gangster film the producers threw hokey monster scenes in to money in on the Website positioning-friendly title.
Anything one might name “filmcraft” is novice at finest. Camerawork is poor, with low cost and ugly digital images. The performing is flat throughout the board, with actors so centered on saying the proper phrases they don’t put any life into it. Many of the scenes are over-lit, with characters shiny, orange, blown out, or some mixture of the three.
But let’s speak in regards to the monsters. Even a horrible film could be fulfilling with enjoyable monster sequences to assist it. Cocaine Shark follows mutant sharks which have escaped into the larger inhabitants. This features a Man Shark (learn: man in an affordable rubber masks) and a Crab Shark, which appears to be like like a Play-Doh toy. There’s additionally a bat-spider hybrid creation that is mindless – it’s not a shark – however you solely see this creature in a single still-frame on the high of the film. A pity — it’s the very best design in the entire thing.
The monster scenes have been few and much between. Every every now and then, there’s a shot of an affordable shark monster “swimming” throughout the display screen. This identical shot is repeated again and again, typically occasions with no narrative rationalization. I might estimate that there was solely about 5% of display screen time dedicated to monsters. I can recognize horrible results (and these are ghastly), however these have been virtually non-existent.
There wasn’t even an try at sensible results. In one scene, Man Shark claws a gangster’s face, killing him. The solely make-up impact used is a few pretend blood streaked throughout his face. As in the event that they couldn’t be bothered to affix a single wound or gash.
Cocaine Shark is a nasty film. I like dangerous motion pictures, however there’s “bad” after which there’s “lazy.” Shoddy tools, flat actors, and a basic lack of filmic data was all I noticed right here. This is affordable try and gin up clicks for the “cocaine + animal” system. Don’t give in to the ploy. You’re higher off with Sharktopus or 2-Headed Shark Attack than with this abomination.
… no less than it’s solely an hour lengthy?
SCORE: 1/10
As ComingSoon’s assessment coverage explains, a rating of 1 equates to “Awful.”
ComingSoon doesn’t take pleasure in giving out an terrible score, and it’s typically reserved for video video games which are damaged or leisure that’s devoid of any redeeming qualities.
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