Everton v Newcastle, Tottenham v West Ham: Premier League – live | Premier League

“You mentioned Christmas first,” is Scott Blair’s opening gambit. “Two reasons for suggesting this. First, it’s the incomparable Warren Zevon not taking Walking in a Winter Wonderland entirely seriously; and second it’s a tune that’s been appropriated for many a football chant over the years.

“My favourite was the one Celtic supporters coined for Mark Viduka, but the second line is possibly a bit sexist for the Guardian, so if anyone is motivated enough to research further, the Jorge Cadete version is probably safer.”

Are you making an attempt to get me sacked? On at this time of all days?

The Premier League desk forward of tonight’s motion

“Evening!” chirps William Preston, generously attaching an image of a pint in what likes like a particularly heat pub. “I think the Everton game is going to be a corker. They simply have to get an early festive stomp on and show the magpies that there’s only partridges, turtle doves, french hens, geese, and swans in the festive football season. Goodison Park requires the thrilling heroics missing for so long. Have a super party!”

Was that final sentence meant for the worldwide Guardian Sport handle or are simply rubbing salt into my social wounds?

“My main issue with xG,” begins the ghost of Brian Clough Niall Mullen, “is that if you look at a typical xG table then the teams at the top consistently seem to do better than their xG and the teams at he bottom consistently do worse. It’s like the xG isn’t measuring some crucial element of the game. If I had to hazard a guess as to the missing piece it would probably be the quality of the players.”

That’s a shrewd commentary. It’d be attention-grabbing to observe a match with any person who’s doing the xG. My hunch (and that’s all it’s) is that it could flip me into Gareth Keenan.

“There are some who find xG to be a complete waste of time, being of the position that actual goals are all that matters,” wrties Matt Burtz. “Others, myself included, find it to be at least somewhat instructive as to the relative merits of particular teams. By that measure Newcastle are the second best team in the Premier League, which isn’t entirely unexpected. What might be surprising is that Everton are ninth, ahead of the likes of Manchester United, Tottenham, and West Ham. And the thing is that watching them backs this up.

“Their 3-0 loss to Manchester United was hardly a demolition; in fact, Everton won the xG battle, they just didn’t convert their chances. They’ve also conceded the same number of goals as Aston Villa (who have played one more game). All of this is what leads me to think that Everton aren’t going down, even if the full ten-point deduction stays in place. Their away form has improved drastically and while they might not get any points tonight against a strong Newcastle side, things aren’t as bleak as they seem at Goodison.”

My solely points with xG are {that a}) we take the methodology on belief, b) we deal with it as a precise science when it isn’t and c) typically it’s used to tell an argument moderately than assist it. I agree it’s a superb information, although, and this 12 months’s desk reinforces what the eyes have been telling us all season: Everton virtually actually received’t go down.

Everton v Newcastle staff information: Coleman begins

Preamble