Four Features That I Must Insist Every Video Game Includes

I’ve performed quite a lot of video games in my lifetimes. I say ‘lifetimes’ as a result of I have lived many various lives, all of which have been extremely uneventful and have largely revolved round enjoying totally different video games.

Features are what make a recreation. Many individuals are saying this. If you speak to any recreation developer and ask them, “What makes up a video game?”, they are going to inform you, “Features.” Go on, ask any of them. If they don’t have this reply, I don’t know what to inform you. I’m simply spitballing right here. Sometimes, I simply say stuff. It’s no matter.

If you haven’t acquired a recreation with options, what have you ever acquired? I dunno, a film? But even motion pictures have particular options when you purchase the DVD, Blu-Ray, or Ultra HD 4K Blu-Ray. Sometimes in these particular options, you’ll discover video games. It’s humorous how life works like that.

Anyway, I’ve performed quite a lot of video games and loved quite a lot of options in video games. On that word, I’d wish to inform you the options that I suppose each recreation ought to attempt to have included of their expertise, primarily based on the video games that I have performed in my many, many lifetimes.

I don’t ask for a lot from you, I merely simply ask for the love of God that you just have a look.

An ugly little man that’s annoying and all people hates

You see this in video video games on a regular basis. Slightly man that’s simply horrible to have a look at, normally with a grating voice, and at all times with loads to say. I consider that whereas it already exists in lots of video games, a horrible little asshole ought to exist in each online game.

I suggest this man. His identify is Beremy, and he can be the commonest character within the recreation. He is extremely impolite, at all times round, offers you recommendation that doesn’t really assist in any manner, and there’s actually no a part of the sport that he’s not in. Also, he’s in love with you.

Pressing a button to scream

Do you understand how in Dog’s Life, there’s a button that permits you to shit/fart? I suppose that’s nice. However, I suppose it’s positively gotten a bit outdated, and each recreation having a shit/fart button would in all probability be a bit isolating for anyone that doesn’t shit/fart.

That being mentioned, I suppose that each recreation ought to have a Scream button. Why not? There isn’t a single recreation that wouldn’t profit from having the choice to simply begin screaming. Not solely wouldn’t it be a aid in video games which might be nerve-racking, nevertheless it may be used to scare issues away in a determined time of want.

Realistic auto-play

Idle video games are all around the Auto-Play characteristic, and I suppose it’s actually overdone and unrealistic. These Auto-Play modes appear to at all times profit the participant, and more often than not don’t replicate how a participant would really play the sport.

Due to this, I consider that video games with and with out an Auto-Play characteristic ought to have Realistic Auto-Play, which mechanically performs the sport actually badly. I additionally suppose that there ought to be a warning beforehand that claims, “WARNING: This is how we believe you would play the game. If you are hurt by this, maybe you should give playing the game a try.”

Unavoidable calls to your private cell from the worst character within the recreation

Remember how Overwatch 2 wished folks to be required so as to add their cell numbers to their accounts? I suppose this can be a nice thought, purely for the aim of this characteristic. I suppose all video games ought to embody 3-hour unavoidable cellphone calls in your real-life cellphone with the worst character within the recreation (consult with Feature 1).

In this cellphone name, you must reply audibly to the character with issues like, “Wow!” and “That’s really insightful!”, and you must imply it. The 3-hour cellphone name will encompass the character speaking a few putrid progress that has appeared on their internal thigh, and they’ll go into nice element about all of the ‘natural remedies’ they’ve been utilizing on it that haven’t been working. You can’t grasp up.

This story initially appeared on Kotaku Australia.