It took 13 years for James Cameron to make Avatar: The Way of Water. It solely took me six months to search out Avatar: The Way of Water cereal. So the approach I see it, I’m truly forward of schedule.
“Pandora Flakes,” as the field calls them, had been launched final 12 months throughout the frenzy of hype surrounding the long-awaited Avatar sequel. For no matter motive, I by no means noticed them in any of my native grocery shops throughout The Way of Water’s theatrical launch. But final weekend, I popped my head right into a greenback retailer that was going out of enterprise, and wouldn’t you already know it? There, amongst the discounted soaps and knockoff toys, was a couple of packing containers of Pandora Flakes (of Corn). Best of all: They had been marked right down to $1.99.
Two bucks for Avatar cereal that received’t technically expire for 3 extra months? How may I not strive them?
After all, for causes I can’t even try to elucidate, I think about it my sworn skilled responsibility to strive any and all movie-inspired tie-in meals. This began as a joke virtually ten years in the past now, and has developed right into a full-blown skilled beat (to not point out an ongoing risk to my long-term bodily well being). If you make a film, after which a quick informal restaurant makes inexperienced pancakes, or a semi-potable juice drink, or an unholy mixture of a pizza and a calzone out of stated film, I can be there.
And so immediately I traveled — spiritually, through Kellogg’s breakfast cereal, if not actually — to Pandora, to pattern the native alien delicacies. Which, it seems, is an ordinary field of Frosted Flakes (of Corn) with extra “Blueberry Flavored Blue Moons.” Somewhat alarmingly, the field claims that it’s “Naturally Flavored With Other Natural Flavors. Why doesn’t calling it “Naturally Flavored” cowl all pure flavors? Why repeat the phrases “natural flavors” twice? I’m actually slightly afraid to search out out, lest I hen out and resolve to not put this quickly decaying cereal into my physique.
Just trying at this product, it’s clear this can be a low-effort film tie-in; they didn’t even coloration the customary Frosted Flakes (of Corn) blue; they simply combined in some blueberry moon items and referred to as it a day. They had 13 years between Avatar and Avatar: The Way of Water to engineer a real Pandoran breakfast meals. Surely Jake Sully and his household eat way more unique cereal than this.
As for the style, nicely, I documented my first bites of Pandora Flakes on Instagram, for the entire world (and Pandora) to get pleasure from:
READ MORE: I Ate Burger King’s Red Spider-Verse Whopper
Years in the past, I wrote a historical past of movie-related breakfast cereals, from C-3PO’s to Ice Age: Continental Drift Cinnamon Cereal. Pandora Flakes would definitely not price amongst the most interesting achievements of this area of interest culinary sub-category. (They’re no E.T. Cereal, that’s for darn certain.) But at least as of this writing, I’m not violently ailing and my pores and skin hasn’t turned blue. So that’s a win in my e book.
Next time: I say Kellogg’s ought to go weirder. Instead of simply including new items to an present cereal, they need to make one thing completely weird. This is supposedly a cereal from an alien planet! They wouldn’t eat frosted flakes (of corn) on Pandora; they haven’t any corn! So go for broke. How about breakfast pasta? Why not make cereal that’s flavored with Tulkun mind juice? Or cereal with the milk already packaged inside? Do one thing wildly exterior of the field. And then preserve getting weirder and weirder with new flavors yearly between now and 2031 when Avatar 5 will supposedly be launched.
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