Despite being uncovered as a deep state psy-ops marketing campaign, the Super Bowl nonetheless managed to retain its standing as an unofficial American vacation.
That’s proper, after being uncovered as a rigged arm of the deep state, the NFL placed on a courageous face and powered on. The league even wrote in a 16-16 tie and an additional time earlier than Kansas City (wink, wink) took its second straight championship with a 25-22 win over San Francisco.
You could argue the sport was greater than ever. Ludacris and Lil Jon joined Usher — carrying roller-skates — for the halftime present. Reba McEntyre sang the Star Spangled Banner whereas a triangle of jets buzzed the domed Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas.The stands had been crammed, the stars got here out — not like the Grammys, Jay Z had each daughters by his facet— and pomp had a fistfight with circumstance in the tunnel to see which one would get prime billing.
It was pomp. Always the pomp.
In case you missed this, there have been just a few far-right commentators who’ve presumably had their grey matter changed with oatmeal and decried that they Super Bowl was someway rigged as a result of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift have been having fun with one another’s firm. Even President Biden was in on it!
And this was all earlier than Kelce bumped coach Andy Reid on the sideline in the first half in a present of frustration that was deeply uncool. Not serving to, Travis.
But in the previous couple of weeks, the anti-Swift/Kelce sentiment had been so pervasive in some political circles that even NPR did a narrative on the phenomenon. That’s when you understand you’ll be able to speak to your grandparents about it.
There had been some very bizarre issues that occurred. Both quarterbacks had 123 yards at the half. Exactly the similar yardage. And one plus two equals three. And . . . see how straightforward that is?
And now the Chiefs have “won” once more. Gentle reader, be very cautious with the place you search commentary on Monday.
Every few years the proper will get actually made about soccer and guarantees to give up it. And then the left will get actually mad at soccer for one thing utterly totally different. There are in fact issues to get mad about, like when a catch will get a 6-minute evaluation and is dominated not a catch.
Infuriating.
There is usually some kernel of substance underneath all the outrage, however this time, the hypothesis on house lasers rigging the consequence or no matter madness was being projected over on these channels was unmoored. Taylor Swift didn’t vote for Donald Trump. Travis Kelce shills for a pharma firm that makes vaccines.
That’s it?! That’s all you bought?
Trump himself posted on a low-energy social media website earlier than the sport that, “I signed and was responsible for the Music Modernization Act for Taylor Swift and all other Music Artists,” he wrote in his bizarre grammar. “Joe Biden didn’t do anything for Taylor, and never will.”
He goes on to say that Swift couldn’t presumably vote for Biden and that he likes Kelce, even although the TE “may be a liberal and probably can’t stand me!”
As sweetly transactional as it’s to say that you just’ve already paid for somebody’s vote, what this truly tells us is that Trump could despise Swift and Kelce, however he respects the energy they maintain in American tradition. Because as loyal as his hardcore voters are to Trump, the Swifties are legendary. If it’s a battle between Trump and Swift for the Super Bowl, the cash is on Swift.
She was a magnet that pulled even larger numbers to already best-in-class NFL rankings as soon as she began coming to Chiefs video games. Swift’s jacket selection turned Kristin Juszczyk boutique NFL attire enterprise right into a full-fledged development. When she began relationship Kelce, his jersey gross sales elevated 400% in accordance with CBS, and Chiefs ticket gross sales surged.
She chugged a drink on dwell TV in the second quarter and if there’s any method to win American hearts and minds, which may be it.
Trump, on the different hand, killed the USFL and despatched an NFL proprietor to London as Ambassador throughout his presidency. But that proprietor was Woody Johnson, so much less the strongest NFL proprietor than one who will need to have been horrified by the British custom of relegation.
StubHub projected this Super Bowl to be the second-best in it’s historical past, with the 2018 sport as the greatest. Luxury containers went for $1 million and up. CBS offered 30-second spots for $7 million in accordance with USA Today.
Shocking that the American sporting viewers could abdomen all this after the sport had been so cruelly revealed as a sham to keep an incumbent in workplace. Somehow. Nonsensically.
But this was going to be a tough matchup for the far proper anyway, pitting the Chiefs and a distinguished singer towards San Francisco, a metropolis that far-right shops like to hate. How do you choose a crew to root for between them?
Those crazy commentators are proper about one factor. The sport is rigged, however not in the means they suppose. The NFL is rigged to diffract your consideration span to money-paying shops. The league sells your eyeballs to betting corporations, telecom firms, pharma and tech companions. The one factor it may’t do if it hopes to keep your consideration is rig the precise video games.
If the NFL was rigging the Super Bowl, it might need labored slightly extra offense into the first half. But there was drama, the Chiefs getting back from a boring first-half efficiency, a tie sport with 4:20 left in the fourth quarter. The Chiefs didn’t play properly, however San Francisco didn’t pile up factors after they had the likelihood and so the comeback didn’t take a lot.
Looking ahead to Super Bowl 59 in Roswell. It’s about time we let the aliens choose a winner.
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