Paulina Porizkova has revealed she needed to die after her ex-husband Ric Ocasek’s handed unexpectedly in 2019.
Ocasek was one of many lead vocalists within the band the Cars, and died on September 15 that yr. Ocasek’s dying occurred two weeks after he’d undergone surgical procedure, although Porizkova later claimed the surgical procedure was not the rationale for his dying.
Now the mannequin, 57, has opened up about what grieving her husband was actually like, in an interview with Page Six.
”It’s not even so much that I thought about how to kill myself or when to kill myself – it was just that feeling of, ‘I just don’t know how to go on. I can’t do this anymore. … I just want to go away. I can’t bear waking up tomorrow morning, being the same person with the same feelings. I can’t carry it anymore,'” she stated.
She added, “I mean, how many people wouldn’t [think about it], you know?”
Porizkova and Ocasek had a difficult relationship previous to his dying, having simply separated a yr earlier.
The pair had been married for 28 years and shared two youngsters, Jonathan, now 29, and Oliver, now 24, once they determined to separate in 2018.
But on the time of Ocasek’s dying, the complete household was nonetheless residing collectively.
It got here as a large blow then, when Porizkova found as they have been organising her ex-husband’s funeral, that he’d minimize her out of his will.
“I have made no provision for my wife Paulina Porizkova… as we are in the process of divorcing,” the rocker wrote in his final needs.
“Even if I should die before our divorce is final… Paulina is not entitled to any elective share… because she has abandoned me.”
In the interview, which promotes Porizkova’s new assortment of essays, No Filter: The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful, Porizkova revealed the damage that got here from that discovery, calling it a “betrayal”.
“It was really, really hard because obviously, first of all, you’re grieving a person that has been your whole life, the most important person in your life… there was so much pain just stacked up on top of each other… and then this betrayal was a lot,” she stated.
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