The Worst Classic Rock Songs

No one is immune. Grammy awards, platinum certifications and Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductions will not hold anybody off this checklist.

As we seemed again on the Worst Song From Every Classic Rock Band, we stayed away from all the extras that now accompany these albums upon reissue. So, no demos, early mixes or b-sides have been thought of – simply songs from their predominant discography.

The focus was meant to be on an act’s best-known period, with a view to stage the enjoying area. Otherwise, this could simply be a countdown of least-favorite songs from somebody’s deeply questionable ’90s-era industrial section or a boring up to date hookup with the producer du jour.

That mentioned, some songs are so dangerous – you, “How Many Say I,” “Queen of the Supermarket,” “Sam I Am,” “All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You” and “Brandon” – that they merely fall to the underside of any period.

Here’s our have a look at the Worst Song From Every Classic Rock Band:

AC/DC, “Night of the Long Knives”
From: For Those About to Rock (1981)

Not typically a good suggestion to leverage one in every of Hitler’s atrocities to finish a lyric. Also led to Motley Crue’s “Dr. Feelgood.”

Aerosmith, “My Fist, Your Face”
From: Done With Mirrors (1985)

It’s troublesome to find out what, if something, this tune is definitely about. But by the tip, the title sentiment is definitely shared.

Alice Cooper, “Ghouls Gone Wild”
From: Welcome 2 My Nightmare (2011)

A tune this cartoonish ought to have actually ended with the Mystery Machine children pulling as much as unmask Alice Cooper.

Allman Brothers Band, “Maybe We Can Go Back to Yesterday”
From: Brothers of the Road (1981)

Preferably, even additional again.

The Band, “Last of the Blacksmiths”
From: Cahoots (1971)

Richard Manuel employs a brilliantly anguished vocal that just about obscures the truth that it is all gibberish.

Beach Boys, “Busy Doin’ Nothin'”
From: Friends (1968)

The second verse of this very appropriately named reduce is nothing greater than the instructions to Brian Wilson’s home. No kidding.

Beatles, “Wild Honey Pie”
From: The Beatles (1968)

You may need anticipated “Revolution 9,” however is that actually even a tune?

Billy Joel, “The Ballad of Billy the Kid”
From: Piano Man (1973)

Billy the Kid was an precise individual. Basically, none of this occurred to him.

Black Sabbath, “It’s Alright”
From: Technical Ecstasy (1976)

Not typically a good suggestion to have Bill Ward sing.

Bob Dylan, “All the Tired Horses”
From: Self Portrait (1970)

After listening to this, it is not onerous to know why Griel Marcus opened his unique evaluate of Self Portrait with these immortal phrases: “What is this shit?”

Bon Jovi, “Social Disease”
From: Slippery When Wet (1986)

It begins somewhat unpleasantly, and it would not get any higher.

Bruce Springsteen, “Queen of the Supermarket”
From: Working on a Dream (2009)

What is that this shit?

The Byrds, “Mind Gardens”
From: Younger Than Yesterday (1967)

Composer David Crosby as soon as fortunately described “Mind Gardens” as a tune with “no time, no meter, no rhymes … and it’s sung freestyle over a lot of backwards guitar.” That’s the issue.

Cheap Trick, “High Priest of Rhythmic Noise”
From: All Shook Up (1980)

The vocoder is a useful gizmo for voice encryption, speech synthesis, and dance songs. Unfortunately, none of these issues apply right here.

Chicago, “Window Dreamin'”
From: Chicago 13 (1979)

Yes, that is Peter Cetera. No thought why he is utilizing this voice, which he even named: “P.C. Moblee.”

The Clash, “We Are the Clash”
From: Cut the Crap (1985)

Well, you definitely was.

Crosby Stills and Nash, “Cathedral”
From: CSN (1977)

For those that at all times questioned what a meandering, jarringly mawkish exploration of a nasty LSD journey would sound like in Graham Nash’s palms.

David Bowie, “Chant of the Ever Circling Skeletal Family”
From: Diamond Dogs (1974)

David Bowie was contemplating a musical adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984. Here’s a very good argument towards that.

Def Leppard, “Don’t Shoot Shotgun”
From: Hysteria (1987)

It was shocking once they later mentioned this was an try to sound just like the Rolling Stones. Especially, you’d think about, to the Rolling Stones.

Dire Straits, “Les Boys”
From: Making Movies (1980)

Flirting with homophobia is without doubt one of the lesser-advised methods to finish a platinum-selling album.

Don Henley, “Johnny Can’t Read”
From: I Can’t Stand Still (1982)

In which children — not academics, dad and mom or the system – are cynically blamed for illiteracy.

Doobie Brothers, “Thank You Love”
From: One Step Closer (1980):

This man is so excited by his new love {that a} vibraphone solo breaks out.

The Doors, “Indian Summer”
From: Morrison Hotel (1970)

Imagine if the Doors recorded an extremely boring model of “The End.”

Eagles, “The Disco Strangler”
From: The Long Run (1979)

This is co-credited to Glenn Frey, Don Henley and Don Felder, however sounds all Henley — dour, nearly biblically judgmental … solely this time with a disco bass line!

Electric Light Orchestra, “Sweet Is the Night”
From: Out of the Blue (1977)

ELO usually walked proper to the sting of Store Brand Beatles pretension. Sometimes, they went over.

Elton John, “Indian Sunset”
From: Madman Across the Water (1971)

This form of Old West pastiche was higher finished on Tumbleweed Connection, and had the additional benefit of not being totally improper on the details.

Eric Clapton, “Don’t Blame Me”
From: There’s One in Every Crowd (1975)

Some truly designate Eric Clapton’s cowl of “I Shot the Sheriff” as his worst tune. They should not have heard this wrong-headed sequel.

Faces, “Around the Plynth”
From: First Step (1970)

A shambolic tune from the underside of a brown bottle, launched because the second single from the Faces’ debut. Didn’t chart, for some motive.

Fleetwood Mac, “Danny’s Chant”
From: Bare Trees (1972)

Directionless, noodle-y solos and — to nobody’s shock, actually, simply their infinite annoyance — these oceanic chaaaaaaaaants.

Foreigner, “Rev on the Red Line”
From: Head Games (1979)

When folks describe sure bands as “corporate rock” and sure songs as “paint by numbers,” that is what they imply.

Genesis, “Illegal Alien”
From: Genesis (1983)

Not typically a good suggestion to star as sombrero-wearing, jarringly racist caricatures of Latinos. Then there’s a singalong!

George Harrison, “This Guitar Can’t Keep From Crying”
From: Extra Texture (1975)

This wasn’t the primary of his misguided Beatles sequel songs, simply the worst.

Glenn Frey, “I’ve Got Mine”
From: Strange Weather (1992)

There wasn’t a lot past a whorehouse sax to advocate about Frey’s greatest solo singles, however not less than he’d prevented Don Henley’s preachy schoolmarm-isms. Until now.

Grateful Dead, “France”
From: Shakedown Street (1978)

Bob Weir as soon as mentioned, fairly accurately, that this tune “just sort of happened. But it sure as hell didn’t happen right.”

Guns N’ Roses, “My World”
From: Use Your Illusion (1991)

In retrospect, the freeze-dried missteps of Chinese Democracy have been simple to foretell.

Heart, “All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You”
From: Brigade (1990)

This was a shocking repudiation of all the things Heart had as soon as stood for, and in addition method too lengthy.

Iron Maiden, “Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter”
From: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989)

Iron Maiden took the task slightly too actually when requested to contribute a tune to the soundtrack for a ugly, prosaically dumb horror film.

Jeff Beck, “Plynth (Water Down the Drain)”
From: Beck-Ola (1969)

Rod Stewart and Ron Wood additionally opined a few plynth on this pre-Faces-era collaboration with Jeff Beck, with comparable outcomes.

Jefferson Airplane, “Eskimo Blue Day”
From: Volunteers (1969)

There’s a whole lot of banging round as Grace Slick furtively sings about how this and that “doesn’t mean shit to a tree.” Smart tree.

Jimi Hendrix, “Little Miss Strange”
From: Electric Ladyland (1968)

Noel Redding did not have many songs on Jimi Hendrix’s albums. There was not less than one too many.

Joe Walsh, “I.L.B.T.’s”
From: You Bought It – You Name It (1983)

Maybe it appeared humorous on the time? Or possibly it was at all times idiotic.

Joni Mitchell, “Dancin’ Clown”
From: Chalk Mark in a Rain Storm (1988)

Wait, is that Billy Idol?

John Lennon, “John Sinclair”
From: Some Time in New York City (1972)

You got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta, got-ta skip this one.

John Mellencamp, “Rooty Toot Toot”
From: The Lonesome Jubilee (1987)

The second when John Mellencamp’s inviting method with Americana sounds and heartland issues devolved into caricature.

Journey, “Back Talk”
From: Frontiers (1983)

A misfire that just about single-handedly stored Frontiers from turning into Journey’s greatest ’80s album.

Judas Priest, “Parental Guidance”
From: Turbo (1986)

If your mom tells you to show “Parental Guidance” down, please do as she asks.

The Kinks, “The Video Shop”
From: Think Visual (1986)

They’d remade themselves as area rockers, then MTV stars. Time to throw all of it away with a horrible idea album set in a Blockbuster! “The Video Shop” was one of many scraps of that concept that finally emerged.

Kiss, “Kissin’ Time”
From: Kiss (1974)

Kiss’ willingness to do absolutely anything for cash – even this – was truly confirmed very early on.

Led Zeppelin, “Boogie with Stu”
From: Physical Graffiti (1975)

Originally, and apparently extra exactly titled, “Sloppy Drunk.”

Lynyrd Skynyrd, “I’m a Country Boy”
From: Nuthin’ Fancy (1975)

At his greatest, Ronnie Van Zant had a method of untangling complicated concepts in regards to the South, its historical past and its tradition. This wasn’t a kind of instances.

Metallica, “My World”
From: St. Anger (2003)

Hey, let’s strive rap-metal. Or nu-metal. Or each!

The Monkees, “Gonna Buy Me a Dog”
From: The Monkees (1966)

Basically simply Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz screwing round.

Motley Crue, “Brandon”
From: Generation Swine (1997)

What is that this shit?

Neil Young, “We R in Control”
From: Trans (1983)

Ground management to Neil Young.

Nirvana, “Gallons of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through the Strip”
From: In Utero (1993)

First, the wonder and mind of “No Apologies.” And then, the alternative.

Ozzy Osbourne, “No Bone Movies”
From: Blizzard of Ozz (1980)

Randy Rhoads was solely round for 2 albums, and that makes losing him on throwaway materials sadder nonetheless.

Paul McCartney, “Temporary Secretary”
From: McCartney II (1980)

Subtitle: Boomer Discovers Synthesizers.

Paul Simon, “Cars Are Cars”
From: Hearts and Bones (1983)

You cannot argue with the logic. Just the tune.

Pearl Jam, “Hey Foxymophandlemama, That’s Me”
From: Vitalogy (1994)

The former drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers joins, and impulsively we’ve got tracks titled like this. So additionally they known as it “Stupidmop”?

Peter Frampton, “Where I Should Be (Monkey’s Song)”
From: Where I Should Be (1979)

Peter Frampton’s profession momentum was shortly slowing because the ’70s ended, and this generic rock star’s letter from residence did not assist. Also, it by no means mentions a monkey.

Pink Floyd, “Alan’s Psychedelic Breakfast”
From: Atom Heart Mother (1970)

He’s actually making breakfast.

The Police, “Mother”
From: Synchronicity (1983)

Andy Summers did not have many songs on the Police’s albums. There was not less than one too many.

Queen, “Cool Cat”
From: Hot Space (1982)

This may truly be about his cat.

R.E.M., “Underneath the Bunker”
From: Lifes Rich Pageant (1986)

It took a long time and a worldwide pandemic for this tune to make any sense in any respect.

Ringo Starr, “Las Brisas”
From: Ringo’s Rotogravure (2008)

Wait, is {that a} mariachi band?

Robert Plant, “Tall Cool One”
From: Now and Zen (1988)

A robotic, airless observe with references to Led Zeppelin’s “Black Dog,” “Dazed and Confused,” “Whole Lotta Love” and “The Ocean,” however none of their ardour or hazard.

Rod Stewart, “Ghetto Blaster”
From: Body Wishes (1983)

Who else to assist us type out the intractable, labyrinthine societal ills of conflict, starvation and greed that the “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” dude?

Rolling Stones, “Indian Girl”
From: Emotional Rescue (1980)

Who else to assist us type out the tangled political and financial realities of Central America that the “Star Star” dude?

Rush, “Tai Shan”
From: Hold Your Fire (1987)

Believe it or not, Neil Peart’s use of a “self-made recording of a plastic water bottle [being] struck by a toothbrush” is not any the place close to the worst half.

Sammy Hagar, “Sam I Am”
From: Livin’ It Up! (2006)

Having lengthy since set a lyrical bar with “only time will tell if we stand the test of time,” Sammy Hagar clearly felt he might coast on residence.

Scorpions, “Media Overkill”
From: Savage Amusement (1988)

Yeah, you actually needed to be there again within the ’80s when surveillance, the media and the specter of conflict have been so dangerous.

Steely Dan, “Change of the Guard”
From: Can’t Buy a Thrill (1972)

It helps when you simply deal with Jeff “Skunk” Baxter. He nearly – however not fairly – salvages the tune.

Steve Miller Band, “Shu Ba Da Du Ma Ma Ma Ma”
From: The Joker (1973)

Almost all of this lyric sheet are the phrases (sounds?), “Shu ba da du ma ma ma ma.” All of sudden, “Take the Money and Run” reads like Shakespeare.

Stevie Nicks, “Jane”
From: Street Angel (1994)

So sickly candy {that a} journey to the dentist might be so as.

Styx, “Eddie”
From: Cornerstone (1979)

James “J.Y.” Young makes use of a time-honored debate custom of guitar-synthesizer in an try … to persuade Edward M. Kennedy to not run for president?

Traffic, “Roamin’ Thru’ the Gloamin’ with 40,000 Headmen”
From: Traffic (1968)

So there is a profane protagonist, some form of treasure, a shootout with these headmen, and in addition a reggae model on the market by Jim Capaldi.

Tom Petty, “Zombie Zoo”
From: Full Moon Fever (1989)

If it is any comfort, Tom Petty felt the identical method. “I hate ‘Zombie Zoo.’ I do not understand how that got on the record,” he admitted. “I had better stuff.”

Thin Lizzy, “Johnny the Fox Meets Jimmy the Weed”
From: Johnny the Fox (1976)

The album’s title character on this one-off, very unusual try at funk is described as “sly, slick and subtle.” The tune, not a lot.

Van Hagar, “Up for Breakfast”
From: Best of Both Worlds (2004)

Ironic title. They by no means sounded extra flaccid.

Van Halen, “How Many Say I”
From: Van Halen III (1998)

The departed David Lee Roth reportedly mentioned “How Many Say I” appeared like “hot water being poured on a cat.” They stored pouring it, too, for six excruciating minutes. That poor cat.

The Who, “Did You Steal My Money”
From: Face Dances (1978)

Anyone uncertain about up to date experiences that Pete Townshend was coping with a staggering coke habit want solely hearken to “Did You Steal My Money.”

The Yardbirds, “Hot House of Omagararshid”
From: Roger the Engineer (1966)

Before Roger the Engineer, the Yardbirds usually included covers from the likes of Bo Diddley and Howlin’ Wolf. They would have a tremendous alternative for this psychedelic piffle.

Yes, “Don’t Go”
From: Magnification (2001)

It was already dangerous. Then, got here the automotive horn.

ZZ Top, “Woke Up with Wood”
From: Afterburner (1985)

Inspiration can arrive from essentially the most shocking locations. Or not.

The Rock Supergroups You Totally Forgot