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What Would Batman Write in a Holiday Newsletter?

What Would Batman Write in a Holiday Newsletter?

2 years ago
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It’s the top of 2022, which implies that it’s a time for vacation events, tv specials, awkward household gatherings and annual household newsletters. You know the sort I’m speaking about. The household newsletters that come across the finish of the 12 months that embody a good portrait of the household together with a rundown of their current actions. Since I’ve Batman on the mind, at any time when I have a look at these vacation newsletters, I can’t assist however surprise what it will be like if the Bat-Family ever launched one.

I’m not speaking in regards to the one Bruce Wayne sends to his society associates: “Dear Gotham Elites, this year my son Damian went to a…um…martial arts summer camp on an island. My son Tim has bought his first boat.”

Come to think about it, Bruce most likely had Alfred write that publication yearly earlier than he died. But the publication I’m in is the true one. The one which Batman would ship to his Justice League teammates. As a enjoyable thought train, let’s think about what that publication can be like. What has the Bat-Family been as much as in 2022?

Bruce would have a lot to jot down about, because it’s been a very eventful 12 months. Chip Zdarsky and Jorge Jimenez took over the core title with 2022’s Batman #125, which included no scarcity of huge moments. For starters, Tim Drake was shot and Batman was framed for the homicide of the Penguin (been there, carried out that). Batman #130 featured an epic sequence the place the Dark Knight falls from the moon to Earth and survives the expertise. I’m pondering that will make the Christmas card, if for no different cause than to point out Hal and J’onn they don’t maintain a monopoly on house journey.

The Caped Crusader would additionally most likely write in regards to the current shakeups with Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths. That epic occasion kicked off in April’s Justice League #75, which noticed Batman and his Justice League teammates get killed by Pariah and his Dark Army. Luckily, they weren’t as lifeless because it appeared, and the League was capable of rally in time to cease the Dark Army and restore the multiverse to its former glory.

While writing in regards to the occasions of Dark Crisis, Bruce would most likely spend most of his time bragging about Dick. Dark Crisis was a large second for Nightwing, who served as a beacon of hope for the surviving DC heroes when it regarded just like the Justice League was lifeless. Nightwing additionally had a few battles with Deathstroke, who was being powered by the Great Darkness. The occasion ends with Bruce telling Dick that he’s an essential voice for the long run, and he needs his former protégé to assist him work out methods to construct a higher Justice League.

I’ve to think about, since these newsletters are all about household, a lot of it will merely be Bruce beaming with satisfaction over Dick and his different youngsters. He would have a lot to say in regards to the good Dick is doing in Blüdhaven, which could be seen in Tom Taylor and Bruno Redondo’s Nightwing. Last 12 months, Dick launched the Alfred Pennyworth Foundation, with the aim of ending poverty in Blüdhaven, and this 12 months, he’s continued his quest to wash up town. Dick has dismantled Blockbuster’s legal empire, because of some assist from his long-lost sister Sonia Zucco.

Bruce would most likely write about Tim Drake’s new adventures. The older of the 2 present Robins is starring in the appropriately-titled Tim Drake: Robin, his first ongoing collection in over a decade. Tim’s now dwelling in a boat on Gotham’s marina. He has a colourful group of latest neighbors, and there’s at all times one thing occurring. He’s at the moment locked in a battle of the minds with a new enemy, however Tim is nothing if not a resourceful detective.

Batman would most likely go on for pages about how proud he’s of all his youngsters and allies. He would brag in regards to the good work Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown are doing over in Batgirls. If you’ve been studying the title, then you definately would know that Steph and Cass are spending the vacations with their mother and father—however not in a nice approach. Also, they’ve swapped our bodies. Maybe Bruce will go away that out of the vacation card.

I may go on about how Bruce would sing the praises of Jason, Kate and possibly even new allies like Jace Fox and Harley Quinn, however my house is proscribed. Honestly, I believe Bruce’s ideas would largely be on his repaired relationship together with his son. It’s been a troublesome 12 months for Bruce and Damian. Their relationship has taken a lot of hits, nevertheless it looks as if the 12 months is ending with them in a significantly better place. Father and son have been at odds many instances, notably in the course of the Shadow War occasion. Ra’s al Ghul was murdered, simply as Damian was lastly beginning to really feel a connection together with his grandfather. The quest to search out the assassin and convey him to justice brought about some battle between Bruce and Damian, who every had their very own thought on methods to do it.

This has all come to a head in Batman vs. Robin. Every father can relate to the expertise of getting their teenage son fall beneath the affect of a dangerous particular person. In this case it was the Devil Nezha, who used his demonic powers to manage Damian. Batman was capable of free his son, however died in the course of the battle. Luckily the ability of the Lazarus pit was capable of revive him. Come to think about it, between this and Dark Crisis, Batman has died twice in one 12 months! Way to make the remainder of us look dangerous!

The occasion additionally noticed Batman don the Helmet of Fate, which does a lot greater than his utility belt does. Oh, and the volcano on Lazarus Island has erupted, and now the planet shall be bathed in these harmful chemical compounds. What may probably go mistaken? I suppose we’ll need to see how this performs out in 2023 in the course of the Lazarus Planet occasion.

Looking again, it looks as if 2022 was a large 12 months for Batman. Maybe it’s a good factor that Batman doesn’t write an annual publication, as a result of he would most likely make the remainder of us look dangerous by comparability. I didn’t do something as epic as surviving a fall from house, until you depend the time I survived a full night time stranded on a Virginia interstate.

Even if my story was extra epic, Batman will most likely have me beat in 2023. While 2022 was a large 12 months for the Dark Knight, it seems to be like 2023 has the potential to be even greater. With Lazarus Planet on the horizon, it seems to be like Batman shall be beginning 2023 off with a bang. Happy holidays, everybody. Thank you for studying Gotham Gazette in 2022. I hope to see you all in 2023, as a result of issues are going to be wild.
 

Joshua Lapin-Bertone writes about TV, films and comics for DC.com, is a common contributor to the Couch Club and writes our month-to-month Batman column, “Gotham Gazette.” Follow him on Twitter at @TBUJosh.

NOTE: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely these of Joshua Lapin-Bertone and don’t essentially mirror these of DC Entertainment or Warner Bros.





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