Would You Kill For Me: Mary Elizabeth Bailey On Healing, Hope & Bringing Her Story to the Small Screen

Mary Elizabeth Bailey is a real inspiration.

She’s additionally the inspiration behind Lifetime’s newest Ripped from the Headlines movie, Would You Kill For Me? The Mary Bailey Story.

It’s a difficult-to-watch however incredible film and one in every of the strongest of the true-crime slate.

We have been extremely lucky to converse to Mary Elizabeth Bailey about bringing her story to the small display screen, advocacy, therapeutic, what she hopes others pull from her story, and a lot extra.

Check out our dialogue beneath, share your ideas, and present her love in the feedback.

Did Lifetime attain out to you about wanting to do your story? What impressed you to be a part of forces at Lifetime?

Yeah, after I had written the ebook, People journal reached out to me, and I did the People journal article final 12 months.

After that got here out, Pierre David, a producer who works intently with Lifetime for many of his movies, reached out to me via one in every of his assistants on Instagram. I adopted up with Jackie on the request to see if it was legit, let her do her magic, and right here we’re. We ended up with a film.

Yeah, you probably did. Not everybody will get one!

It’s unbelievable. It’s really a blessing. I’m so grateful and grateful that we’re in a position to get my story to the public, for individuals to learn it and to see it, and hopefully, it should assist many individuals. That’s my objective.

Sometimes, in movies like these, liberties are taken for the fictionalized drama features. How a lot did the movie differ out of your precise experiences?

There are positively some totally different situations. For occasion, they’ve in the film that my grandmother was up throughout the homicide, and actually, she was in mattress asleep. She had nothing to do with it. So it is simply issues like that.

It’s simply my brother and myself in the film. But I’ve two different siblings who have been there and in the ebook, My Mother’s Soldier, however simply due to price restrictions and sure issues.

There have been just a few liberties taken that that they had to take after I was a child or issues that occurred between my mom and another of us, Willard’s ex; I wasn’t sufficiently old to know what occurred.

So that they had to take liberties in that respect. So it is good. It’s nice. Everything was accomplished very tastefully and respectively.

Now, was that you just making an look throughout one in every of the courtroom scenes?

Yes.

I like that. I believed it was poignant to have you ever sitting behind this younger actress enjoying your self. What was that second particularly like for you?

Because you are a part of this venture, telling your story and seeing all of it play out in entrance of your eyes. Can you describe what that was like for you on set and that feeling?

It was an unbelievable second. And simply to seize that and seize that scene the manner we did it actually was unbelievable. And to simply look and watch your life unfold.

Because I wasn’t in the courtroom as a baby when all that was going down, I did not get to expertise what was stated. Just the courtroom drama, you’ll say. I did not expertise it.

So, to have the option to sit there as an grownup in the courtroom and look and watch is unbelievable. I do not suppose many individuals get to watch their lives unfold in that respect.

So that was attention-grabbing, and it was very emotional. But it was simply such an honor and a privilege to be there and to have that half and simply to be sitting proper behind Presley [Allard], who’s enjoying me. It was simply unbelievable.

Oh, she was incredible. She was so good.

Wasn’t she nice? I instructed her, “Presley, you are going to be superb in the event you proceed to act. You have this uncanny capability simply to seize audiences and seize individuals. She’s simply so good.

I respect and located the film filming from three totally different views attention-grabbing. I believe that was one in every of the movie’s strengths, with numerous emphasis on the generational trauma and form of that cycle and simply main to you breaking that cycle.

So, was it tough to revisit that in that facet, or did you take into account this movie cathartic?

It actually was cathartic. But writing it was most likely the most cathartic as a result of that is when all the actual emotion in me watching the movie, watching the tape, seeing what my mom stated in the courtroom, seeing what occurred in that courtroom.

But it was, and it was attention-grabbing to see it from totally different views as a result of after I first began watching the movie, I wasn’t there the complete time for the movie.

I used to be there for the final seven days, so I noticed rather a lot. So when I’m watching it, I’m like, Wait a minute, that is not what occurred. But it took me a minute, even me, only a minute, to understand that this was coming from another person’s perspective. And that is what audiences have to understand.

There are three views of a narrative. Even myself, after I started watching it, despatched me the hyperlink. I used to be stunned at first and like, Wait a minute, that is not what occurred.

But from her perspective, it was precisely what she stated. But I wasn’t in the courtroom. I do not keep in mind all the issues that she stated, and I would not be privy to all that till I wrote the ebook.

Of course, it is like the saying goes: it is your reality, my reality, and the reality someplace in between once they speak about views.

I loved that facet of the movie and the multigenerational part of it, with every of those girls bringing their very own experiences and traumas into the combine. It was so quintessential Lifetime. They’re simply actually nice at telling, like they are saying, actual tales about actual girls.

I agree. I couldn’t agree extra.

And while you hear that half in the film, they are saying, we do not need to hear your grandmother’s story, Mary, your mom’s story. We need to hear your story, and I believed that’s precisely proper. That is the story. That’s the reality. That’s what you are going to hear. They did a incredible job with that.

I am unable to say sufficient good issues about Greg McBride. We are like kindred spirits.

As he wrote it, we may talk and speak via Zoom. And he is simply been such a blessing in my life. He’s simply so compassionate and so understanding, and he is so enjoyable to work with.

There’s numerous emphasis in your power. Going via one thing like that and persevering, I’m in awe of you, and also you’re an inspiration due to your power and resilience.

But it was fascinating that your power was virtually a double-edged sword. It was used towards you as effectively — so far as your mom counting on that power that she possibly did not possess to save her.

Yeah, that is a extremely good level. You’re actually the first one who’s most likely pointed that out and stated that.

But you are proper. She relied on me at eleven years outdated to save, shield, and assist her. And then ten years later, the similar factor occurred. She’s me at the finish of the film to assist her, to save her, and actually her complete life. That’s simply how she was.

It was at all times me that had to be the robust one, me that had to be the one to maintain youngsters and her, and it was robust.

Yeah, it has been a loopy trip, however I realized a lot, and I’ve realized how to heal, and I’ve realized how to have hope and forgiveness and all these actually great issues that all of us try so arduous to be taught in life.

It wasn’t simple, but it surely’s been value it. And in the course of, I’ve healed a lot. And it is that is the nice a part of it.

That’s what I need for everybody who watches this movie to see and pull these optimistic issues and people issues out of the film in order that they’ll use them of their life and take a look at to course of their traumas.

Absolutely. I’m in awe of that therapeutic course of. How do you get on the different aspect of that? The timing of this movie could not be higher with Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

And Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I’ve had breast most cancers. I’m a most cancers survivor. And yeah, the timing for the whole lot. Today’s my birthday, so immediately’s one other nice day.

But the whole lot main up to this, there’s function for this, and discovering all that power to do these issues, it was via my religion. That’s what I had to have. At the finish of the day, I had my religion, and that is what pushed me via.

And I do know that not everybody has that. And I’m not somebody who’s tremendous non secular or something like that. I’ve religion, and I’ve the perception that you could overcome issues, that life does not have to be the way it was after I was 11.

I haven’t got to dwell that life. I can break that cycle. I can transfer on as a result of it is my life. I am unable to blame my dad and mom without end.

It appeared that church turned your sanctuary. Was your grandmother the one who introduced you to church as a baby?

She would take me to church, however in the ebook, I speak about the pastor who picked me up. He began choosing me up each Sunday and taking me to church, and he invited us to trip Bible faculty.

I used to be out enjoying at some point, and he invited us, got here up, simply drove up, and was like, “Hey, kids, you guys want to go to vacation bible school?” And I used to be like, “What’s that?” And he is like, “Church. We sing, and we eat cookies, and we play, and we just have a great time.” Like, yeah, I need to go.

So that is simply the place I discovered a function. I discovered individuals there, and I discovered function, and I discovered God. I discovered anyone I may speak to. And to me, that was what I wanted. I wanted somebody I knew who would pay attention to me, although I did not know who he was.

He wasn’t anyone that I may simply name up on the telephone or go down the avenue to their home, but it surely was anyone that I knew, and I felt like was there.

And so for me, after I went via the trauma and, after the homicide, went into foster care and wasn’t allowed to return to faculty, I used to be sitting at residence on my own.

I used to be sitting in a stranger’s home, primarily. These foster individuals, I do not even know these individuals. So, that relationship that I had constructed and that religion that I had was my consolation.

That’s what helped me on daily basis to get via it.

And so that you undergo life, make errors, dwell, and do, however that religion has at all times been there. And it is at all times helped to remind me to forgive, assist, and provides hope the place hope is missing.

This occurred in the 80s. Domestic violence wasn’t taken severely sufficient at the time. It nonetheless is not immediately, although we have made progress. But nonetheless, there’s such a scarcity of comprehension about the many types of abuse and what it even appears to be like like.

How necessary was it to really seize the layers of home violence and abuse? You guys did it effectively, I’ll add.

Yeah. I used to be glad to see that. I, after all, want Lifetime — we may have accomplished a bit of bit extra as a result of there was numerous abuse, much more than you noticed. And it was a bit of extra graphic and a bit of extra violent. But I’m glad via the home violence that they’ll see that.

As you stated, it was not an enormous factor in the ’80s. Battered girls’s syndrome was simply beginning to be one thing you heard about or mentioned. But I see it even immediately.

My husband is a lawyer in household legislation, and he offers with these items: home violence, home points, individuals submitting 50B’s on their partner, whether or not they’ve abused them or not.

The system is simply damaged.

But it’s getting higher, and I believe simply fixed consciousness and bringing movies, books, and flicks out right here so that individuals can see it and hopefully have a look at that and say, oh my gosh, I’m in the similar state of affairs. I’ve to get out. I’ve to have a look at different choices. I am unable to let what occurred to this little woman occur to me as a result of it may occur to anybody.

Of course.

Recognize these indicators and get out. It appears horrific, like, who may do that? But while you get determined, Greg did a superb job of exhibiting my mom’s desperation.

Yes, it’s a very sophisticated state of affairs with so many complexities, and the movie captures the layers. One of the first questions is, “Why didn’t you just leave?” And we see a little bit of why it is not so black and white, particularly throughout that point.

And she did depart, and in my ebook, she did depart, however his threats have been simply an excessive amount of for her.

Of course, I wrote about that as a result of he would depart, and we would return to my grandmothers, and we would keep there, and he’d name her on the telephone and say, “I’m standing right here at the top of the mountain, and when you come out the door, I’ll just blow your head off if you don’t come back home.”

‘So you both want to come again residence immediately, or I’m going to blow your brains out.” And it was simply that straightforward.

What do you do? You’re 20-some years outdated; you are frightened of this individual.

He’s violent; he is confirmed that, so it is simply simpler to return.

Do you need to share any remaining ideas about Would You Kill For Me, its significance, and why individuals want to see it?

So many individuals know who I’m immediately. I’m joyful. I’m profitable by regular requirements, and I’ve not allowed this to shake me and to change me.

I’ve continued to deal with myself and who I need to be, and I need different individuals to see that. I need different individuals to watch this and suppose, you understand what? I’m not going to let my present state of affairs or what occurred to me in the previous cease me from being the finest model of myself and who I may be.

And if there’s somebody they want to forgive of their life, I hope they’ll discover a manner to open up, to write a letter, to decide up the telephone and name that individual earlier than it is too late.

I received the probability to actually revisit my mom after 20-some years of not seeing her, all due to my ebook, due to People journal, and the movie.

I imply, she handed away lower than a 12 months, lower than six months after I noticed her. When I did the People journal, she handed away from most cancers.

Had that not occurred, had I not been courageous sufficient to write the ebook and to speak about issues that have been arduous to speak about arduous issues, I’d have by no means been in a position to reconnect together with her, and she or he would have died pondering I did not care, I did not love her, I did not forgive her. But that did not occur.

And in order that’s the blessing in all of it. Again, it seems like that is precisely the place God was main me down that highway to forgiveness. And I simply suppose it is great.

So that is what I’m hoping for with the movie, is that individuals can look in themselves and see if they’ll see themselves anyplace on this movie, anyplace on this life. That’s my hope.

For extra details about the inspiring Mary Elizabeth Bailey, you’ll be able to take a look at her web site, and you too can discover her on Instagram @mymotherssoldier.

If you or somebody you understand is in want of help, you will discover nameless, confidential assist obtainable 24/7, name the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You also can textual content START to 88788.

Would You Kill For Me? The Mary Bailey Story airs Saturday, October 28 at 8/7c on Lifetime.

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